Teen Mom 2; Season 3, Episode 1

By: Nina

So, before I kick things off I have to give this official MTV’s Teen Mom disclaimer: this first episode of every season sucks and is boring as hell. Honestly. We were so excited to have the Dream Team (Barbara, Jenelle and Kieffer) and all the Teen Mom 2’s back, but it’s gonna take awhile before this gets good again. Not to mention, this picks up right after Season 2 left off. Which sounds good, but in this case it isn’t. This all happened a year and a half ago, and if you’re a Teen Mom Twitter-stalker like me, then you already know what happens. It’s like watching Season 3 of your favorite drama before you watch Season 2 or 1. I mean, Leah doesn’t even have her braces and awful brown and blonde-streaked with bangs haircut yet!!! But, we shall press on. Let’s get to recapping!

Jenelle

One justice done for us is that they opened up the show with Jenelle. Jenelle is post-rehab, and is on probation, which means she can’t do any drugs, including her beloved marijuana. While she starts off on the right page, and passes week one of her drug testing, it’s short lived. As in by the end of the hour she has already smoked and will fail her next drug test. Even more unsettling is that we only get to hear Jenelle’s hott lawyer through the phone, and not see him! Give a girl a break, MTV!!

Jenelle’s 45 minutes of being on the right track also includes her interviewing at a Daycare. Of course the best part of this was when she said she has no temper, never yells and never loses her patience.

I know, too easy.

So anyway, Jenelle goes down hill after what should have been a routine evening of giving Jace a bath:

Barbara: Are we going to give Jace a bath now?

Jenelle: Yea.

Barbara: Make sure the water is warm enough, that’s what I do. Rinse the sand off him. What are you doing?

Jenelle: HE’S MY SON. LET ME CHOOSE HOW I WANT TO GIVE HIM A BATH, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

Barbara: Give me the diaper, he pees on the rug.

Jenelle: I’M CLEANING HIS ROOM. YOU ACT LIKE PUTTING ON A DIAPER IS ROCKET SCIENCE. I’M CLEANING UP HIS ROOM! TRYING TO TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILD!

Barbara: HE HAS A THING, HE LIKES TO SEE HIMSELF PEE!

Jenelle: You should be like, “THANK YOU JENELLE! YOU ARE PICKING UP HIS TOYS, THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH!!”

So after not getting the credit she wants for picking up his toys (because she does so much), she storms off and next we see her she is confessing to Amber that she smoked, and likely will fail her upcoming drug test. Well Jenelle, it was good while it lasted. 

Chelsea

Back in Chelsea-ville Chelsea has been managing her GED, a part-time job, frequent hair-dyes and Adam. Chelsea and Adam aren’t official, he just comes over for “lunch” everyday. Yea, so basically things are right where we left off at 16 & Pregnant, Teen Mom 2 season 1, and Teen Mom 2 season 2. No surprises here though, right?

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So who else turned off the Teen Mom reunion Pt.1 when they realized Maci and Amber were on Pt.2?