Jersey Shore, S5E4

By: Nina

Well, where we left off Mike had “done the dip” as Pauly said, leaving us to wonder, “WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?” When episode 4 starts off, Mike still isn’t back, prompting their landlord and boss Danny to say it’s time for new roommates. He says part of the deal was that they would live at the house and work for him. With 6 people instead of 8, Danny isn’t pleased. With the possibility of two new roommates, the cast isn’t pleased either! But let’s just cut to the chase a bit: Mike does come back. But this still leaves one less person, and Danny puts up a sign at the Shore Store letting customers know that they are now hiring.

Meanwhile, there is a surprise party for Mike and Pauly happening! The gang goes to Karma, and it really seems that Mike and Pauly have no idea what’s in store for them. After the cake fiasco, Mike was definitely touched and thrilled with the surprise. Not to mention that he even brought home the stripper who popped out of a cake for him! I guess if I were an unmarried guido at 30 I would consider that a pretty good 30th birthday too!

But now here ismypersonal highlight of the episode. My favorite cast-mate, Sammi Sweetheart, gets into a fight at the bar!!!!! It happens so far that all you can see are legs kicking like crazy on the ground, and Sammi get thrown out of the bar like trash! According to Sammi, someone yanked the back of her head, so she threw her drink, leading to a “swarm of bitches” attacking her. Lesson of the day? You do NOT yank Sammi’s new weave! DO.NOT.

But let’s move on, because there is a new roomie situation we’re dealing with! Well, the group feels that there is only really one solution to the problem: and that’s to kidnap Vinny and make him come back! They barge into Vinny’s house unannounced, and believe it or not…Vinny is fine and ready to return to the Shore house!! So, no new roommates! No new co-workers! And no Angelina! A happy ending, if I do say so myself! Until next episode…

Episode Hall-of-Fame:

Best Quote:

Jenni: What’s a good name for Danny since he’s being a douche?

Mike: Help Wanted…See “The Old Dude?”

Jennie: Haha…they might think it’s you.

Loser of the Week:

I’m going to have to go with Ronnie. When Vinny shows his new tattoo, saying “Let Go - Let God” Ronnie’s response is “I have no fucking idea what it means.” It’s notthathard, is it Ronnie?

Episode MVP:

I’m going to go with Mike. I don’t blame him for being upset last week when the girls didn’t include him on Pauly’s birthday cake. So I think it’s great that he came back, and on top of it got to discover that he had asurprise party waiting for him!

Jersey Shore; S5E3

By: Nina

Well, it’s our first episode without Vinny. This was probably the most evident when Deena discovers the news of his leaving at the club and proceeds to cry hysterically, insisting that Vinny was apart of her soul…As Jwoww puts it, “Deena’s very dramatic about everything. Hearing Vinny stubbed his toe she might have cried.”

When the initial shock of Vinny’s departure is over the gang returns to their usual routines, starting with a Meatball Day for Deena and Snooki. And the concept of a Meatball Day doesn’t really require a recap, does it? We know what it entails, which is of course them dancing on bars with their kookah’s hanging out, furry boots and at least one of them getting too drunk to walk. But let me at least say this: should I in the future ever drink so much I cannot walk, may I be as lucky as Snooki to have two gay men holding me up and walking me to safety.

Though for anyone who did miss Meatball Day, there was indeed a hilarious dance sequence that I would recommend you try to catch. Oh, and by the end of Meatball Day this is what Deena’s hair looked like:

And thank goodness for Jenni, the only one able to suggest they deep condition her hair (and does it for her) and saves the day! Meanwhile, it is Mike and Pauly’s birthday week! Mike will be turning 30, while Pauly is 31. While at the bar, Mike sees a girl they refer to as the “Bosnian Chick”, who he met at The Shore Store. But when his consistent hook-up and “main squeeze” Paula shows up, Mike hands the Bosnian Chick over to Pauly as a birthday gift. Except when Bosnian Chick comes to the house it is revealed that she does not want to sleep with Pauly. Pauly tells her, “You can come to bed or I can call you a cab. It’s up to you.” Bosnian Chick looks to Sammi for support, but we know Sammi. She’s not coming to to this girls aid anytime soon.

As far as Pauly is concerned, and I quote, it should be against the law to come to his house a 4 in the morning and not give him birthday sex. Later, when Mike’s girl Paula is in the shower, the Bosnian comes back! She tells Pauly that she wants to hangout with Mike if Pauly doesn’t want to hangout. Although Mike had Paula over, he was polite to the Bosnian, and she did get the picture when she realized Paula was still there.

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Jersey Shore; S5E2

By: Nina

It’s the second episode into the iconic Jersey Shore’s 5th season, and the question on everyone’s mind is Does Vinny Leave?! Well, let’s get to recapping and see!

The episode kicks off with Ron and Pauly speaking with Vinny about his anxiety and desire to leave. They seem to think that clubbing and chicks will simply be the answer, but I think most normal-paced people know that fist-pumping can’t cure everything. Meanwhile, returning from a night at the club Jionni borrows some of Mike’s clothes. Which is awkward only because Snooki cheated on Jionni with Mike, but is claiming to Jionni that she didn’t. And now he’s on TV borrowing this guys clothes. And then he makes Jionni a burger. Which isn’t plot-wise relevant, but just shows why you can’t lie to your boyfriend about things if you are on reality TV.

But back to Vinny. After a shift at the Shore Store, Vinny explains to his boss Danny that he as clinical anxiety, and it has put him in a depressed state since Italy. He explains that he has been diagnosed with this since he was a teenager, and while most of the time he can handle the anxiety or panic attacks, right now it is more severe and more difficult to manage. To try and get Vinny in a better state, the guys do some GTMP…Gym, Tanning, Mani-Pedis.

Yea. It was awkward. At least in Mike’s defense he wasn’t too fond of the experience. I think in the future he’ll be sticking with GTL…

Fresh with their mani-pedis, everyone is prepared to return to Karma tonight! It was great to see how excited they all were to go back to their favorite Jersey Shore spot. Deena does her Jersey Turnpike, Snooki shows her kooka, it seems like everything is back to normal. That is, except Vinny. The fast-paced, crowded and loud environment of the club isn’t calming him down like his roommates hoped it might.

But before Vinny makes a decision on what he is going to do, Pauly noticed his diamond necklace is missing after a hook-up in the smush room with a girl from the club! Snooki matter-of-factly says, “The girl stole it.” In denial to admit that it’s gone, Pauly searches all over the house for the necklace. A few hours later, the girl comes back, wearing the necklace! And she is damn lucky Pauly didn’t ask for an explanation, because it was clear that she took it, and didn’t just accidentally end up with it around her neck! Damn, time to get a safe at the shore house!

Meanwhile, as time goes on Vinny’s mental state is not improving. The gang is preparing to go out to the club and don’t want to leave Vinny alone. At the same time, they don’t want to bombard him by all staying, since they know Vinny wouldn’t be receptive to that. They decide that it would be best to leave Pauly alone with Vinny, as he is closest to him. However, Pauly isn’t able to talk Vinny out of his decision. It is clear that it is best for him that he leave right now. So instead of convincing Vinny to stay, Pauly instead helps Vinny pack. Although Vinny was leaving, it was nice to get a more intimate glimpse inside their friendship. Pauly seems really devastated about Vinny leaving, but knows it’s best for him. It doesn’t seem that Vinny is around long enough to say goodbye to the others, and we will have to wait until next episode for their reaction!

Episode Hall-of-Fame:

Lush of the Week: Snooki. Entirely because of her drunk chicken-cutlet speech to Jionni.

Mike Analogy of the Week: Comparing his not finding a girl at the club until the last minute to Joe Namath at the end of the football game making a touch-down with only 20 seconds left.

Episode MVP: Vinny, for knowing when enough is enough and doing what’s best for him mentally, despite what his roommates were saying.