I’ve Got 99 Problems But Ke$ha Ain’t One: Teen Mom 2, S3E4

Teen Mom 2; S3E4

By: Nina

Hello and howdy! Well, it’s hard to top last weeks episode of Ke$ha fun, but we can try, right? Where we left of Jenelle is in jail, Chelsea is disappointed with Adam’s antics yet again, Kailyn is jealous Jo has a girlfriend and is fighting their custody agreement and Leah continues to be blaming Corey for the divorce she filed for. So, let’s see what happens next!

Leah

Leah’s first segment opens up at a lunch date with her, the girls and her best friend Kayla. And it is here that we learn that Ali-girl is a master and passionate dipper! Way to go Ali-Girl!

Moving on from Ali-girl, Leah decides to go back to school. Now for someone like you and me this would mean scheduling an ACT test, taking it, applying to schools and then scheduling an appointment with a counselor where we were accept. For Leah this means walking into her college of choice and taking the ACTs on the spot in a counselors office. She failed, but was still accepted. You know, on the spot. 

Also, this is when Leah finally transforms to the brunette, blonde streaks and bang Leah. Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek. Leah also mentions getting a mysterious friend request from “this guy”, who we of course know is her now-husband Jeremy! So in upcoming episodes I guess we will see how this relationships unfolds beyond Facebook messages! 

Jenelle

Jenelle is out of jail and ready to see Ke$ha! But she has NOT forgiven Barbara for not bailing her out of jail. Instead she had to turn to her friend Tori. If that doesn’t sound familiar, Tori is the girl Jenelle got into a cat-fight with last season when she screamed, “LEAVE ME ALONEEEEEEEEEEE.” Familiar now? Tori says to Jenelle, “I don’t understand why your mom doesn’t do anything to help you” which just goes to show that Jenelle’s friends are as clueless as she is. 

When Jenelle’s lawyer finally gets to see Jenelle (after Ke$ha of course) he tells her that going to that concert was the worst decision she could have made. He suspects that the probation office is still going to seek an active 45-day sentence. Seeking someone to blame, Jenelle comes home and targets Barbara. 

Barbara: The probation officer came here, and I asked her why you were going to jail, and she said you had two violations on your drug test.

Jenelle: See, you’re always blaming it on me!! Always!!

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I’m sorry MTV, but if you really want us to start watching Buck Wild, you’re really going to have to make a more attractive person be the showcase of the ads. 

I’m sorry MTV, but if you really want us to start watching Buck Wild, you’re really going to have to make a more attractive person be the showcase of the ads. 

Yessssss.

Yessssss.

Jenelle and Ke$ha Sitting in a Tree: Teen Mom 2; Season 3, Episode 3

Teen Mom 2; S2E3

By: Nina

Well, with two seperate series and now 7 seasons between them both, there have been a lot of classic “Teen Mom” quotes. “Well Jenelle, I See You With Kieffer”, “Is Kyle Slow”, “Boopidi-Bop-Bop-Booger” and more. This week’s episode gave us a new quote to add to the collection. This week gave us “That’s why I got all these feathers in my hair.” So let’s get to recapping!

Chelsea

After an awkward afternoon rooting Adam on as he four-wheels, it’s time to focus on Aubree’s birthday. However the dent in the plan is that after a fight with Randy, Adam is unsure if he will attend. Chelsea begins to resent the fact that she planned the party, paid for the party, supplied things for the party and yet she can’t even rely on Adam to show up on time. Will this matter in the grand scheme of things? Of course not. In the end Adam does come, and they do tons of clips trying to compare the bike he got for Aubree to the power-wheels Jeep Chelsea bought her. Also, Aubree has been taught to shake her booty. But that is neither here nor there. Oh, and of course the party is leopard print themed. Of course.

Leah

When Leah sees Corey riding a new truck she decides to blame the divorce on that. Corey’s response is, “You’re going to make me pee my pants!” God bless. Regarding the girls she says, “I’m sure they would have loved their mom and dad together more than that truck.” That’s a pretty ballsy comment from someone who cheated on their partner several times. So basically the rest of the episode is her complaining over Corey, Corey’s truck and the fact that he didn’t do marriage counseling. So let’s just keep this one short!

Jenelle

After failing her drug test Jenelle is left with a decision to make: continue probation or serve in prison. Since the jail sentence would be shorter then probation, Jenelle wants to choose that. That is, until a 3rd party gets involved. Ke$ha. When Jenelle discovers that serving jail time would prevent her to going to see Ke$ha in concert. The conversation that followed goes like this:

Jenelle: I definitely want to do jail.

Hott Lawyer: What they are asking for is the 8th to the 23rd.

J: You see, the only thing is, on the 9th I got 2ND ROW SEATS to go see a concert. It’s KESHA tickers.

HL: The problem is, that’s not gonna fly.

J: No, no no no. You don’t understand. This is my IDOL. She’s like my idol. And I’m NEVER gonna be able to see her. Like, can’t you call her—

HL: I am NOT mentioning the concert.

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Catfish the Documentary is On MTV Today at 2:30 est.

You’re welcome!

teenmombooger:

Buy here! Santa, give this to me!!

The Triumphant Return of Jenelle’s Hott Lawyer: Teen Mom 2; Season 3 Episode 2

Teen Mom 2; Season 3, Episode 2

By: Nina

Hello hello hello, and welcome to the episode 2 recap! Last we left off Jo didn’t want to date Kailyn, Jenelle smoked pot despite her pending drug test, Leah wanted to go through marriage counseling with Corey despite her filing for divorce and Chelsea…well, something must have happened with Chelsea and Adam. So now that we’re up to date, let’s get to recapping!

Leah

Well, first let me share the good news: my Ali-girl has a new tooth coming in! Hooray for Ali-girl! That’s unfortunately the only moment worth celebrating for Leah this episode. She and Corey go to mediation to decide their schedule with the kids due to the divorce. But we are all mediation pros now aren’t we after Maci and Ryan? Leah gets even more upset when she logs into Corey’s e-mail and discovers that he is talking to girls. Oh and yes, this is the same Corey who she split from and filed to divorce. Oh oh, and yes, that is also the same Corey who she cheated on 2 days before their wedding. So anyway, Leah and her friend Kayla compare Corey to “high-school Corey” who would talk to girls and date. High-school Corey also wasn’t married, so I don’t know what to tell ya. I absolutely understand that it must be so hard seeing your ex and the father of your kids move on. But it seems like Season 2 she was unhappy and filing for divorce, and now Season 3 she is blaming him for not wanting counseling and for moving on. 

Kailyn

Kailyn cheated on Jordan with Jo, so she didn’t want to date Jordan, so she could date Jo. Then Jo told Kail that he didn’t want to date her, so now Kailyn wants to date Jordan again. Do you follow? No? I’ll make it easier: Kailyn doesn’t want to be single. But I think we cut Kailyn more slack after we see her mother’s response to receiving a voicemail from her and Isaac: Kailyn’s mother Suzie then BLOCKS the number! So basically, her mother has cut both her and Isaac off. And we all can gather enough of Kailyn’s character from this show to know she did nothing to deserve her mother not wanting anything to do with her. I can only imagine how painful that must have been for her.

After receiving that rejection from her mother, Kailyn takes a chance and calls Jordan, who says he still misses her and Isaac. Score. It seems as if they are going to give things a chance, but since this was all filmed ages ago we kind of know that doesn’t really happen, at least not long term. Sighhhh. We also got to meet Jo’s girlfriend Vi (Or V?) this episode, but not much happened with that. She seems nice enough!

OH! And Isaac is actually looking cute this episode!

Chelsea

Chelsea’s segment opens up with Adam giving her a ring. I only wish these weren’t filmed so long ago, so we all could have dealt with the fright over this possibly being an engagement ring. However, Chelsea does beam over the fact that he got her a piece of jewelry, in which he says represents that he is not going to go anywhere. (Props to Aubree for crying hysterically the moment he proclaims he’s here for good.) While things are going well with Adam, things aren’t going well at Year Round Brown, as Chelsea got into a fight with her boss and so she decided to quit. As PapaRandalicious put it, “So you quit your job and you’re back with Adam. Any other good news?” Not this week, Randy!

Jenelle

The bad news is that despite taking a detox drink before her drug test, Jenelle tested positive for marijuana. The good news is that this means I got to see her hott lawyer again.

(Of course the bad news with that is the picture of his bride in the background. Sighhhh.)

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teenmombooger:

This is the best caption for anything I’ve ever seen in my life. TEEN MOM LOL OF THE DAY.

teenmombooger:

This is the best caption for anything I’ve ever seen in my life. TEEN MOM LOL OF THE DAY.

teenmombooger:

So I’m assuming everyone had the same reaction during this, right? So let’s make it the “Teen Mom ‘LOL’ of the Day”

teenmombooger:

So I’m assuming everyone had the same reaction during this, right? So let’s make it the “Teen Mom ‘LOL’ of the Day”

"You Act Like Putting on a Diaper is Rocket Science": Teen Mom 2; Season 3, Episode 1

Teen Mom 2; Season 3, Episode 1

By: Nina

So, before I kick things off I have to give this official MTV’s Teen Mom disclaimer: this first episode of every season sucks and is boring as hell. Honestly. We were so excited to have the Dream Team (Barbara, Jenelle and Kieffer) and all the Teen Mom 2’s back, but it’s gonna take awhile before this gets good again. Not to mention, this picks up right after Season 2 left off. Which sounds good, but in this case it isn’t. This all happened a year and a half ago, and if you’re a Teen Mom Twitter-stalker like me, then you already know what happens. It’s like watching Season 3 of your favorite drama before you watch Season 2 or 1. I mean, Leah doesn’t even have her braces and awful brown and blonde-streaked with bangs haircut yet!!! But, we shall press on. Let’s get to recapping!

Jenelle

One justice done for us is that they opened up the show with Jenelle. Jenelle is post-rehab, and is on probation, which means she can’t do any drugs, including her beloved marijuana. While she starts off on the right page, and passes week one of her drug testing, it’s short lived. As in by the end of the hour she has already smoked and will fail her next drug test. Even more unsettling is that we only get to hear Jenelle’s hott lawyer through the phone, and not see him! Give a girl a break, MTV!!

Jenelle’s 45 minutes of being on the right track also includes her interviewing at a Daycare. Of course the best part of this was when she said she has no temper, never yells and never loses her patience.

I know, too easy.

So anyway, Jenelle goes down hill after what should have been a routine evening of giving Jace a bath:

Barbara: Are we going to give Jace a bath now?

Jenelle: Yea.

Barbara: Make sure the water is warm enough, that’s what I do. Rinse the sand off him. What are you doing?

Jenelle: HE’S MY SON. LET ME CHOOSE HOW I WANT TO GIVE HIM A BATH, WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

Barbara: Give me the diaper, he pees on the rug.

Jenelle: I’M CLEANING HIS ROOM. YOU ACT LIKE PUTTING ON A DIAPER IS ROCKET SCIENCE. I’M CLEANING UP HIS ROOM! TRYING TO TELL ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILD!

Barbara: HE HAS A THING, HE LIKES TO SEE HIMSELF PEE!

Jenelle: You should be like, “THANK YOU JENELLE! YOU ARE PICKING UP HIS TOYS, THANK YOU SO, SO MUCH!!”

So after not getting the credit she wants for picking up his toys (because she does so much), she storms off and next we see her she is confessing to Amber that she smoked, and likely will fail her upcoming drug test. Well Jenelle, it was good while it lasted. 

Chelsea

Back in Chelsea-ville Chelsea has been managing her GED, a part-time job, frequent hair-dyes and Adam. Chelsea and Adam aren’t official, he just comes over for “lunch” everyday. Yea, so basically things are right where we left off at 16 & Pregnant, Teen Mom 2 season 1, and Teen Mom 2 season 2. No surprises here though, right?

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