TV Booger

The Challenge: Rivals Episode 2

            So this week’s episode of Mtv’s The Challenge: Rivals, opened up with perhaps the lamest prank in the history of The Challenge. A couple guys carried a stone swan and put it in Mandi’s bed. She whined, and CT proves that he’s a fucking beast by singlehandedly picking up the swan and moving it. Keep in mind, this same swan took 4 other guys to carry.

            Other house drama: Tyrie and Jasmine fuck, stealing Tyler’s condoms. Why Tyler felt it necessary to bring condoms when the only other gay guy is Davis is beyond me. Not that I wouldn’t want to fuck Davis. I just don’t think Davis would ever go for Tyler. Also, Mikey-mike isn’t really settling into the house too well. Mostly because he’s scrawny and smart and kinda nerdy. He is also either really nice, or completely oblivious to the fact that no one cares about his wheat farm talk. But don’t worry mikey-mike! I would listen to you all you wanted! You’re just too cute. I’m rooting for mike to make it to the final challenge, just to make a point.

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The Challenge: Rivals Episode 1
By Chris

Robin said it best. On this season of the Real World/Road Rules Challenge, mtv realized that the strength of these challenge shows lies not in the actual challenges, but in the crazy mother fuckers that participate in it. Knowing this, they decide to create a concept that guarantees at least a fight a week*. Basically, a quick run-down for the people who didn’t get the blatant explanation of the rules, the teams consist of people who have had altercations in the past. I do think that some of the partnerships are more obvious than others, (CT vs Adam, where the wonderful line “I will smash his head and EAT IT” was born). But regardless, every team has tension that will be interesting to watch.

Here is a list of the teams:

Males:

• CT/Adam.
• Johnny/Tyler
• Tyrie/Davis (awww davis, still as cute as ever)
• Leroy/Adam R (woah, Las Vegas rookies)
• Evan/Nehemiah *yawn*
• Ty/Brandon (I don’t even remember these two not liking eachother)
• Wes/Kenny

Females (including Evelynn): 

• Cara Maria/Laurel (fucking love that bitch)
• Theresa/Camilla
• Paula/Evelynn (love this partnership)
• Jenn/Mandie
• Sarah/Katelynn (Ugh, fucking hate Katelynn so much)
• Jasmine/Jonna (Aw remember when I cared about the Cancun cast?)
• Aneesa/Robin

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Toddlers and Tiaras, S4E2

By: Nina

A Pageant Mom, a Christian and a 4-year-old walk into a bar—okay, so maybe there’s no actual joke like that, but we find all of these characters and more in this season’s second episode of the TLC smash hit, Toddlers and Tiaras. This week’s pageant is Oklahoma City’s very own “Oklahoma Halloween Bash”. And setting the scene for the events ahead is “Mr.Todd” the pageant emcee. (How do you get that job?) What will set this pageant aside from others is the costume round for the contestants. Costumes will be fun for kids! It won’t have to be like High School, where girls use costumes as an excuse to bare their mid-drift and wear short-shorts, right? Wrong. Pageant director Mary Cusik let’s us know right away that this is not to the place to be conservative. “Some people are a bit more conservative on the tummy showing, but this is a glitz pageant and they need to get over it because that’s just how it goes.” Well, let’s get over it and get moving on then!

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The Big C: S2E01
By Chris 

            Following last season’s incredibly sad finale, The Big C returns with a slightly less sad episode (but it’s still sorta sad). I’m always pleasantly surprised by this show’s ability to walk the line between sad and funny, and this episode was no exception. We open up with Cathy and her brother running down the street together. Everything seems normal and Cathy attempts to tell him about her cancer. Suddenly, Marlene comes running after Cathy, apparently she wants to get some exercise too. But wait…Marlene was dead! That should clue you in that this is a dream sequence, and Cathy runs past Dr. Mauer trying to kiss her, as well as her son apparently shooting up (where did this come from?). Long story short, she wakes up startled, and we see for sure that it was just a dream.

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Weeds: S7E01
By Chris 

            Following up on the near perfect finale last season, this season of Weeds opens up three years later with Nancy Botwin being unexpectedly released from jail. In an awkward scene where Nancy talks to several off-camera officers, we learn that Nancy was supposed to go into the Witness Relocation Program, but instead will be sent to a halfway house in New York City. Nancy then gets back to her cell where we meet her lesbian lover/roommate, who gives her oven mitts. These oven mitts apparently “are the key to their future.” Maybe she is planning on pulling a “Bree Van De Kamp” by writing a cookbook and making a catering company all while being the perfect housewife! I doubt it though. Nancy Botwin has never really been the “Stepford” type. 

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 Toddlers And Tiaras, S4E01:
By. Nina 

TLC, also known as The Learning Channel, has become a channel centered around cake-baking, child pageants and families who’ve birthed a half-dozen kids or more. In other words, I could not be happier. Among these shows, my favorite would have to be Toddlers and Tiaras. Let’s quickly assume that you have not seen it. Let’s go a step further and assume that you feel the show shadows unwilling kids who are forced into makeup, hair pieces and dresses that resemble cupcakes by their insecure, yet forceful mothers. Maybe you’re right. But, I’ll let you be the judge. 

Season 4’s opening episode starts off with Universal Royalty Pageant director Annette Hill, (who will be hosting the Pageant at the climax of today’s episode), as she immediately pits six-year-old Eden and five-year-old MaKenzie up against each other. But here’s the big question: What are these two young ladies fighting for? The grand prize of a pink and white canopy bed decorated with rhinestones…okay, okay, and one thousand dollars. Let the games begin?

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True Blood: S4E01
By. Chris 

  Leave it to resident philosopher Jason Stackhouse to sum up my feelings about the last season of True Blood. When we last saw Bon Temps, Sookie was lured away to Fairy Land after kicking all vampires out of her life. This season opens up in this new Fairy Land, where it is eternally the “magic hour” of photography, aka when the sun is setting, and the light is all golden and pretty. How could things go wrong in this Willy Wonka inspired world of Technicolor rainbows and shining gold fruit dubbed a “Lumiere” or “light fruit” probably named this way because its low-fat, and not because it produces light. Well, I’m sure the members of “Heaven’s Gate” also didn’t think anything was going to go wrong when they started wearing Nike shoes and drinking Kool-Aid. But like any good party, the night needs to end, whether that means getting drunk and throwing up in the kitchen sink, or in True Blood’s case, discovering that the Fairy world is hatching a plot to harvest humans.

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